The causes of stress are manifold but one important one is working for someone who is super critical. No matter how hard you try to please or win over that person you never will. It usually results with you coming down hard on yourself and with a feeling of anger; anger not necessarily directed at any one in particular but a feeling deep in your gut that sits there like a lump of undigested food. In order to avoid this set up an invisible internal boundary line and don't allow the critical person within that line.
The super critical person will probably continue to behave (misbehave) for the rest of their working and non-working life and there is little you can do to change them. What you can do however with practice and internal discipline is to not let that person cross over your invisible internal boundary line. Be honest with yourself and if your internal appraisal is more accurate than theirs believe it and disagree internally. Trying to "get along" by talking things over will usually not work with a person who is predisposed to be super critical and totally self opinionated. You can try using an internal company grievance policy if it has one but it usually will not work.
Very ofter these super critical persons will self-destruct. By that I mean that they will cause so much disruption and lack of loyalty in the work place that the people or person who hired them will see the fact that they are a not a positive factor which is improving the company or department and their contract will not be renewed or they will be discharged. It may take a few years to get to this point of realization but most companies or departments will get there; after all no one wants to admit they may have made a mistake in hiring the individual in the first place.
So keep your "cool". Don't get suckered into playing their game and remember your patience will reward you in the long run.
1 comment:
I had a boss about 20 years ago whom I sized up as a master manipulator. Shortly after going to work for him, I realized I would need a strategy for dealing with him, and I actually sat down and wrote out what I would do if he confronted me in an angry, accusatory manner. When the day came, I remembered my strategy and followed it. That put me in control, not him. When he did not get the reaction he expected from me, he blew up and was emotionally totally out of control.
Pre-planning was, and is, essential. And it's worth it.
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